Blog from the Beach Blowback!

Bathing suits

               Note: Handy finger indicating patriotic element of moderately out-dated swimwear.

 

Oh, the firestorm I created with my last post! To those of you still trying to forget the image of the guy in the green swim-thingy, you have my most sincere apologies. The photo appeared in a weak moment, and came without the proper disclaimer. My bad.

Sorry! It’ll never happen again. Ever. I <cough> promise.

babe in partriotic swimsuitAnd, for those of you who insisted I didn’t supply enough [read: “any”] pix of babes in bikinis, here’s one I found pretty adorable, even if there weren’t any stripes. Hey, ya can’t have everything! At least, that’s what I keep hearing.

Another failing to which I readily confess: I made no mention of the US Flag Code (and I’ll bet you didn’t even know we had such a thing). Here’s the relevant passage: RWB Swim Trunks“The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery.” (Flag Code, Section 8d)

Therefore, if you see any guys wearing a suit like the one pictured here, you can have him brought up on charges. And by all means, keep that in mind when decorating the guest bedroom.

barbie bikiniThere were two other types of fashion swimwear I failed to mention as well, although I confess I never actually *saw* either one at or near the beach. burkiniThe first is the much whispered-about crocheted, two-piece number which is allegedly only sold to a handful of select lingerie models. (This one is also known as the Barbikini.)

Last of all comes the oft-maligned “burkini” about which, the less said the better.

Which brings me to the last chapter of this edition–a final word of warning since I so brazenly failed to offer any the last time around. Therefore, if you’re scrolling slowly and have no interest in viewing anything even moderately prurient, embarrassing, or off-color, you probably won’t want to feast your eyes on the fellows that follow.

Remember, you were warned!

scary guysIf only I had the kind of chutzpah needed to pose for something like this! Oy.

The <cough> end.

–Josh

 

 

About joshlangston

Grateful and well-loved husband, happy grandparent, novelist, editor, and teacher. My life plate is full, and I couldn't be happier. Anything else I might add would be anticlimactic. Cheers!
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